Every human soul is born into a family. Half of our genetic make-up comes from our father, the other half from our mother. The Life they passed on to us, they received through their parents, who received it from theirs, and so forth and so on. This way we are connected to all of our ancestors, way back to the beginning of time.
We carry their genetic material and with that their experiences also.
In our fast moving, western society we often have the tendency to forget this.
We value an individual life style very highly. Being independent and able to stand on our own two feet, is considered something to strive for.
However, while we are working so hard to achieve this, it is easy to forget that we are not singular beings, that we are in fact part of many systems. Rather than independent, we are inter-dependent.
Connected to each other, and to the world around us.
Of all the systems we are part of, our families are the ones which effect us the most. Whether we are consciously aware of it, or not, we are an intrinsic part of our families and they are an intrinsic part of us.
What is Systemic Work?
Every system is characterised by a certain order, by rules and by a sense of balance.
The same applies to families, as they are systems also. Whenever there is a disturbance in any of these aspects, it does not only effect the person concerned, but also the system as a whole.
In daily life, every family system has some level of disturbance and we live our lives quite happily in spite of them.
Sometimes however, these disturbances may start bothering us. We are not consciously aware of them; instead, we just think that we have a problem, an issue, that we can no longer overlook and that we need to do something about. This is where Systemic Work comes in. Participating in a family constellation (group session) is an excellent way to look at our issue in the context of our larger family system and to open up the way for healing, not only for ourselves but also for our families.
What happens in a Systemic Work Session or Family Constellation?
The original and one of the most powerful way to do systemic work is to look at a system, a constellation, in a group context. Usually, a group consists of participants called representatives, one or more clients and one trained facilitator.
At the start of every constellation, a client presents a question or an issue that she wants to look at.
This may be related to her family, but it can also be about other things such as work, self-inquiry, or more abstract things such as addiction, the wish to find a partner, etc.
The facilitator may ask the client some factual questions for clarification and then invites participants to represent members from the client's family, or others, depending on the issue in case.
Once the representatives accept their role and step into 'the field' they start perceiving certain feelings, emotions etc. which belong to the person or issue they are representing.
Next, it is facilitator’s task to interpret these emotions, establish what is happening in the system and which interventions are called for to restore balance and order.
In every constellation the main intention is to bring the client in contact with the field.
Often, but not always, this is his or her family field.
In this way, the issue that needs to be addressed, can come to the surface.
It can be related to the client's question, but it can also be something different.
Whatever it is, we can trust that it will be what needs to be seen at that particular time.
.By looking at what presents itself, by seeing who has not been seen, by gently putting every one in their rightful place and by restoring the balance, we can assist the system in making a healing movement. Then, love can flow freely again, all the way from our ancestors to us, to the present day, and we become free for a next step in our life.
Systemic Coaching, or Individual Family Constellations
Although group sessions are a very powerful way to conduct
a family constellation, there can be a number of reasons why it may be
preferable to do an individual session instead.
It can be that there are no group sessions available, but it is also possible
that the client does not feel comfortable sharing her question in a group.
Or, the facilitator may deem it better to look at the question presented
in an individual coaching session.
There are several ways to do systemic work in an individual setting;
The facilitator can use small puppets or floor anchors (such as A4 size paper, cushions or shoes)
to represent the various aspects of the constellation.
Another possibility is to conduct a constellation 'in the mind', which is very similar to a guided meditation.
Individual Constellations are also referred to as 'Systemic Coaching’.
There may be a stronger coaching component present than in group sessions, but either way, the principles of systemic work are employed in guiding the client towards a healing solution.
Individual sessions can be done in person, or online via Zoom or Skype.
* Group sessions - upon request.
* Individual Coaching - per session of approx. 1,5 hour: 95 Euro incl. VAT.
For more information or to make an appointment, please feel welcome to click here.
'Once we fully accept who we are
and where we are coming from,
Once we are at peace with our system and our place in it,
then, but only then, are we truly free
to live our own lives.'